I know you all adore the North Wales Happy Snapping Forum (copyright The Dee Birder - please don't sue), so I have written a lovely user guide for you all to read before concocting your next birding vignette accompanied by a series of stunning and original images.
The North Wales Birding Forum: a user’s guide. Version 2.011.
1.
Under no circumstances use your actual name. An ‘avatar’ is the preferred nomenclature - especially one containing a reference to birds. Examples include ‘Tomkite’, ‘Drizzlygoose’ and a gobshite called ‘The White Ptarmigan’, or something like that.
2.
Users must include a couple of lines at the bottom of their posts containing a few words of wisdom. This makes you look intelligent and educated and not at all a cod-philosophical clown.
3.
The exclamation mark must be used copiously. This grammatical tool will of course be preceded by a series of yellow faces displaying a variety of expressions!!!!!!!!!!
This is mandatory for Scousers as clearly they are all naturally hilarious and you simply could not read a single sentence without falling about laughing.
4.
Alan Davies is to be treated like ‘Big Brother’. Like Winston Smith in 1984 you must eventually learn to love Big Brother. For those struggling to fall under his spell, indoctrination is available through ‘thebiggestbrother’ bird tours. Email: O’Brian@theministryoftruth
5.
No matter how piss-poor or hackneyed your image of a bird maybe, everybody else on the forum is absolutely dying to see it and to tell you how clever you are.
6.
If you find a Schedule 1 breeding species on territory and singing, then in no circumstances keep it discreet. Blazon it all over birding websites and watch the circus unfold!! Correction......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7.
Every comment - however puerile or banal - is welcome. Other readers love to know that you too occasionally have the odd bird in your back garden.
8.
Do not disrespect RSPB Starbucks. It is an excellent reserve with year-round interest and in no shape or form a Cafe and Shop with pond attached.
9.
Posts from outside the forum are encouraged – especially from Inner Temple Farm. For those who do not know, some of the reserve is actually in Wales (Note : Colin Wells does not enter this part of the reserve – Ed.)
Members are specifically interested in reports from those who claim to have seen the latest ‘MEGA’ as great sport can be had watching them being grilled by ‘The Grand Inquisitor’ himself – Ajax1973-75.
10.
And finally, an exemplar of what your post should look like.
Went to RSPB Conwy today and spotted a Pallas’s Gull. I know that it wasn’t a Black-headed Gull as it was bigger.
I have never seen one before, but it definitely was one as I checked in the book.
Not bad for my first visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing else there.
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class , v funny
ReplyDeletegive me a ring
sis x x
Haha ! oh Paul you do make me laugh sometimes. I breezed last your last post before seeing this one and then reading back over it. i remember your comment and it was quite amusing. The NWBF has become such a hostile place lately. I typically think twice before posting anything these days.
ReplyDeleteYou've pretty much hit the nail on the head with this post though, hopefully one day people will learn to lighten up a little and just enjoy there hobby and get on with there fellow locals and not take it all to heart.
Ash
I have been trying to disassociate myself from that bunch of tossers for ages, but I cannot find a way to unsubscribe, withdraw my membership, or call it what you will! It seems to me that the only way is to get oneself banned, which shouldn't be too difficult and could be quite entertaining!
ReplyDeleteMr (or Mrs) Anonymous succinctly sums up the downside of the internet. I don't suppose you have the courage to tell us who you really are ?
ReplyDeletecheers Dave
Paul,
ReplyDeleteHope you dont ming me posting but I just read this and had a good laugh. RSPB Starbucks isnt a bad comparison on a quiet day there. But on a serious note I think you've summed up most of the problems with a lot of birding forums. Too much elitism from forum administrators and their old boys' club, not enough protection when rare birds are breeding and too many annoying emoticons when someone's spotted a lifer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to Frodsham for the first time at the weekend with some Manchester birders and got my first Little Stints for this year. Its a great place. I missed the Great White Egret though.
I hope you're well.
Cheers,
Rob