I know you all adore the North Wales Happy Snapping Forum (copyright The Dee Birder - please don't sue), so I have written a lovely user guide for you all to read before concocting your next birding vignette accompanied by a series of stunning and original images.
The North Wales Birding Forum: a user’s guide. Version 2.011.
1.
Under no circumstances use your actual name. An ‘avatar’ is the preferred nomenclature - especially one containing a reference to birds. Examples include ‘Tomkite’, ‘Drizzlygoose’ and a gobshite called ‘The White Ptarmigan’, or something like that.
2.
Users must include a couple of lines at the bottom of their posts containing a few words of wisdom. This makes you look intelligent and educated and not at all a cod-philosophical clown.
3.
The exclamation mark must be used copiously. This grammatical tool will of course be preceded by a series of yellow faces displaying a variety of expressions!!!!!!!!!!
This is mandatory for Scousers as clearly they are all naturally hilarious and you simply could not read a single sentence without falling about laughing.
4.
Alan Davies is to be treated like ‘Big Brother’. Like Winston Smith in 1984 you must eventually learn to love Big Brother. For those struggling to fall under his spell, indoctrination is available through ‘thebiggestbrother’ bird tours. Email: O’Brian@theministryoftruth
5.
No matter how piss-poor or hackneyed your image of a bird maybe, everybody else on the forum is absolutely dying to see it and to tell you how clever you are.
6.
If you find a Schedule 1 breeding species on territory and singing, then in no circumstances keep it discreet. Blazon it all over birding websites and watch the circus unfold!! Correction......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7.
Every comment - however puerile or banal - is welcome. Other readers love to know that you too occasionally have the odd bird in your back garden.
8.
Do not disrespect RSPB Starbucks. It is an excellent reserve with year-round interest and in no shape or form a Cafe and Shop with pond attached.
9.
Posts from outside the forum are encouraged – especially from Inner Temple Farm. For those who do not know, some of the reserve is actually in Wales (Note : Colin Wells does not enter this part of the reserve – Ed.)
Members are specifically interested in reports from those who claim to have seen the latest ‘MEGA’ as great sport can be had watching them being grilled by ‘The Grand Inquisitor’ himself – Ajax1973-75.
10.
And finally, an exemplar of what your post should look like.
Went to RSPB Conwy today and spotted a Pallas’s Gull. I know that it wasn’t a Black-headed Gull as it was bigger.
I have never seen one before, but it definitely was one as I checked in the book.
Not bad for my first visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing else there.