Rumpy Plumpy

After suffering the indignity of neck collars, the Wildfowl and Wetland Trust has now decided to monitor the size of Bewick’s swans’ backsides.

http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/scientists-study-swans-bottoms-2239168.html

The theory is that the birds are not putting on sufficient weight when on their overwintering grounds, thus reducing the chances of a successful breeding season.

There is plenty of empirical evidence that an ample posterior or ‘pie arse’ can increase one’s chances of successful reproduction.

Personally, after four months visiting Rhyl Job Centre, I can certainly attest that there’s a strong correlation between chunky cheeks and the propensity to produce offspring.

Moreover, a former work colleague from Cameroon who went by the name of Devine confessed to a predilection for a well padded bum; Freddie Mercury was convinced that fat bottomed girls made the world go round; and I’m sure that Benny Hill’s character in the Italian Job had a catchphrase along the lines of.....I like ‘em BIG!

I think the WWT are onto something...

Until later.